In Anticipation of a Day

The beautiful rustic beaches of the Outer Banks will soon be in sight.  The salt air I can almost smell.   As my feet feel the sand between my toes anticipation increases.  Ah – to go to sleep hearing the sound of the surf.  Does the car need to be worked on?  What food will we take with us and what should we just wait and buy when we get there?  The yoga mat can be stuffed between the luggage.  Coming home to another part of me is in the air. A rushing in my body says that something good is near grasping.  I get this feeling as I anticipate my yearly retreat. 

I took my first silent retreat when relief from exhaustion was my only desire rather than any lofty goals.  Rejuvenation arrived on the third day.   I felt rested and ready to return home.  With five more days to go and no place to run, I had only myself to face – the time of hard work had begun.  You see, when one is so busy, she doesn’t face herself at all!  Unaware that paradise surrounded me, I wrestled.  My only desire was to flee, however within 24 hours, I began to know the embrace of an invisible mystery that I had always voiced but never knew at this level of intimacy.  Awakened to this presence, the rest of the retreat was spent in exploring the relationship.

Since that time of retreat, I begin to anticipate several weeks in advance the intimacy of being with this one.  This elusive presence is with us wherever we go.  We are invited in our journeys into new aspects of the relationship as we move from place to place.  A silent retreat is not what I am anticipating now but a time with family.  A time spent with these precious people in a way that cannot be known in my day to day world.  The presence is in the anticipation. 

Notice when joyful anticipation visits you.  You are being called into more of who you are.  You are being called home to your true self.  Glean the gifts of each journey.  Where is the presence in this ordinary day?  Don’t live for tomorrow – the vacation.  You can breathe her in today – in each footstep, conversation, and bite to eat.  Open up and take her in – come home to yourself.